According to the Delaware County Daily Times (PA) on November 22nd, the Vikings now owe Brad Childress over six and a half million dollars to walk away from a team that he left in shambles.
What follows is a list of suggestions for what he should do with this windfall. As Robert Downey Jr. or Vince Neil could testify, a lot of free time and mountains of money can be a dangerous combination.
By Patrick Herbert
Brad Childress should invest in broadcasting boot camp. Matt Millen is the most unemployable guy on earth who always seems to have a job. This arena is ripe for former NFL head coaches. Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, and Tony Dungy are the most high profile among these. This profession not only provides a hefty pay check on a regular basis, but it also keeps their names fresh in the minds of NFL owners and general managers when future vacancies come available.
These aforementioned broadcasters are also able to foster their connections within the league while doing their jobs for the networks. If Chilly is a scribe, having the gig could help him sell books. Tony Dungy has some of the best written sports books ever written and he is able to market them because he is still constantly on prime time and has poignant topics, especially around the holidays.
This next suggestion is related to the first one. Chilly should invest in some self-help tapes and literature. His lack of charisma and communication skills cost him dearly when losing the respect of his team. The idea that he could have it both ways with Brett Favre as his chauffeur and taskmaster is simply not practical. When a viewer sees Childress on the sideline, he is often by himself with his thoughts. He has unlimited time during the week to be alone with his thoughts.
He should be discussing possible adjustments with his staff and encouraging members of his roster. The self-help material could assist his lackluster interpersonal communication skills. Meeting people at their level and getting them to reach their potential are two of the necessary attributes of any effective head coach.
The next purchase on the list would be a home in the state of Florida. It is one of the hardest hit areas from the recent recession and it is the perfect time for Childress to purchase a nice residence in Naples or Jupiter where he could work on his tan. There are obviously currently three NFL teams in the region, but more importantly Childress would not have any state income tax on earnings from here on out.
He wouldn’t need to, but if he chose to go the route with a mortgage, rates are near all-time lows. No, I don’t work for Quicken. With his home, some toys to accessorize are necessary. If his guests are going to listen to him for an extended period of time, having a full and open bar is of the utmost importance. Childress may want to self-medicate with this stash as well when he contemplates his failures in Minnesota.