While “Married…With Children” would never get greenlighted today, the spirit of the main character on that iconic 1980s FOX sitcom, Al Bundy, lives on. While yes, Bundy’s worldviews don’t exactly jive with life in 2023, his defining characteristic, being obsessed with his own past athletic glory, is very commonplace.
Fans of certain several sports franchises, both college and pro, remain stuck in the past. They can’t let go of the glory days that once were, and don’t seem to be ever returning.
Let’s take a look at this once group of eight, a collection of programs that will likely never again see a level of glory on par with the past.
We’ll do the first four today, with the next five coming in hot tomorrow.
Indiana Hoosiers Men’s Basketball
On both a fan and media level, no program is more pathetic with the “we’re back” narrative, but never actually really being “back.” It’s an annual tradition with the Candy-Striper pants wearers.
It’s a bit reminiscent of an old article brief from The Onion, entitle The South to Put Off Rising Again Another Year.
Not only is IU never coming back to the banner days (and man do they love to talk about those banners whenever possible), they have to live with the fact that the one of the worst human beings that sports has ever known is the man who led them to that most recent glory.
Bobby Knight is a total and complete asshole, through and through, and there is simply no getting around that. And if you don’t agree, which you are very much free to do so, stop reading this site if you must.
Chicago Bears
Writing this on the 16th anniversary of the last time they won a conference championship, the minnows of the Midway have only won one more postseason game since then. That’s it- one!
They have only been back to the playoffs three times since 2006-07. And as long as the McCaskeys are in charge that will most likely never change.
This franchise is a sick joke, with a large, devoted fan base that it doesn’t come even remotely close to actually deserving.
Things won’t magically improve when they move to Arlington Heights either. Not unless they get their new ownership.
In the northwest suburbs they’ll get new revenue streams for sure, but that doesn’t automatically mean the on-field product will improve. The franchise is legally contracted to stay at Soldier Field until 2026 with the lease terminating in 2033.
If they buy-out the Soldier Field lease in 2026 they will be hit with a $84 million fee.
Plus, it’s going to take a few years to get their new stadium built. In other words, it’s still going to be awhile until that major change hits this franchise.
Also, no specific team of the past, and the reaction they constantly elicit, embodies Al Bundy more than the 1985 Bears. You haven’t done anything special since then, so you never shut up about that one year, a long time ago, when you were elite. But hey, at least you’ll always have the 1940s, the decade when you were truly Kings among men.
New York Knicks
So much has already been said about them, as they’re a consistent punchline in monologues from all the late night talk show hosts. That’s what happens when you’re the runt of the local sports litter in the media capital of the world.
They continue to dominate when it comes to sports club brand value rankings, all the while still continuing to never win anything of note. The issue is obviously owner James Dolan.
It’s rare to find someone who both sucks at what they do and is an awful human being, but Dolan is indeed this rare combo.
He’s a bad guy, and he continues to run a once proud NBA franchise into the ground. Everything else keeps changing with this club, but the results remain the same. So much has been written and said already, about what a hot mess the New York Knicks are, despite the fact that they are swimming in money.
So we really don’t need to elaborate much more.
Paul M. Banks is the owner/manager of The Sports Bank. He’s also the author of “Transatlantic Passage: How the English Premier League Redefined Soccer in America,” and “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry.”
He’s written for numerous publications, including the New York Daily News, Sports Illustrated and the Chicago Tribune. He regularly appears on NTD News and WGN News Now. Follow the website on Twitter and Instagram.