It is that time of year again: Halloween!
And that means we will seen some sports Halloween costumes repeated over and over.
All Hallow’s Eve brings out the best, most stripper resembling, and God-awful costumes that can only be attempted during the bewitching hours. In the spirit of sports, The Sports Bank has compiled a list of sports Halloween costumes ideas to avoid at all costs.
The female streaker from the Ryder Cup
Please, women, leave something for our imaginations. Women already are given a “free pass” to wear their underwear as costumes on this night. Be courteous and make whatever sweaty bag of bones you let drool on you have to work to see your privates.
Johnny Manziel
Guys, you don’t have to dress up to be a douche. You probably already are one. If you are questioning whether you are a douchey person, then you are. Manziel also has no football prospects in the NFL, so don’t dress up like a failure this Halloween.
Brian Wilson
Wilson’s nifty beard is as washed up as his career. Dressing up as one of the bearded guys from the Boston Red Sox is also frowned upon. If you see someone impersonating a bearded baseball player, you have the world’s blessing to cut it off where that offender stands.
Mascots
The only mascot that is approved for Halloween is Ronnie Woo Woo, because you can always pass your costume off as a homeless bum.
Steve Horgan, the Fenway Park bullpen cop
No one cares about a cop in the bullpen. We did in the moment; we don’t now.
Filomena Tobias
Women will end up being her by last call, but making the effort to be a snooty money-grabber prior to intoxication is a bad idea.
Vodka Samm
Yeah… Samantha Goudie, or Vodka Samm is making an effort to change. So should you. She’s trying to get painted in a different color and image.
Kurt Paschke
You will get your ass handed to you if you impersonate a woman-beater. It would not surprise me to hear of at least one person throwing haymakers in a Jets uniform at a Halloween party.
Sports costumes at their worst! Dress up as any of the above and prepare to be ridiculed justly.
Follow Jeff on Twitter @jeffrotull44 for more sports and entertainment ramblings. If you play fantasy sports, check out The Fantasy Fix, where Jeff covers your add/drop/watch needs during baseball and hockey season, and does weekly podcasts, as well.